Martian Ice Cream

Scientists are excited by recent discoveries of ice below the surface of the planet Mars. They will be busy for the near future performing analysis of data provided by the Phoenix lander, NASA’s latest successful probe sent with expert dart-thrower precision to the red planet. This correspondent has just learned that data is not the only thing that will soon come out of the scientific mission.

The Mars family of McLean, Virginia, written about previously in these pages and the secretive owners of the billion dollar candy business of the same name, intends to harvest frozen matter from the planet to market what will be called Martian Ice Cream. It will come in a variety of out-of-this-world flavors, but unfortunately will sell for astronomical prices.

Industry speculators believe this will prove to be a very profitable move for the confection company, due to the current gloomy economic picture. People are likely to spend on comfort food and short-term luxury items when prospects for the future are dim. With the huge increases in the prices of oil and food, the alarming rate of failed mortgages and rising unemployment, a big dish of exotic ice cream might be just the thing to mitigate the malaise and put smiles back on the faces of Americans. Especially if those Americans are very rich, given that Martian Ice Cream might prove to be the most expensive ice cream in history.

Watch this space for more news about Martian Ice Cream coming to a store near you!

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